Violent Words

His words are heartbreaking
but that he cannot see.
The horrible things he says
cut to the very core of me.
Deep down I would rather him be violent
and use his fists on me.
Even though the marks are visible
the scars don't cut as deeply.

Poem 17

Why do I even bother?
Some things will never change.
You always act like you love me
then proceed to call me names.
I worship the ground you walk on.
I'm yours, and yours alone.
But still you treat me badly.

Sometimes I think we are just friends
But friends don't treat friends this crappy.
You're always hurting me
and grabbing me.
Don't you know this hurts?
To give someone your heart
and have them stomp on it is the worst pain by far.

The Wall

He built a wall
And dared me to climb,
And when I reached the top
He laughed in my face
And shoved me back to the bottom.
He said, "We can't be having any more of this",
And added more to the wall.
And when he was finished
He dared me to try again.
So I did,
But when I got to the top
He was waiting.
So I laughed in his face
And said, "We can't be having any more of this."
Then I pushed him back to the bottom,
Climbed down the wall
And walked away.

Poem 16

I've lost you
and I don't know why.
You said it was my fault,
that I passed up my chance
but I don't see how.
I've wanted you to be mine for so long
and deep down I know I can still have you.
When I started to break down after my wreck
and you hugged me
I wanted to stay in your safe, strong arms
but you let me go
and told me to call you
if something went wrong.
Everything has gone wrong.
I need you and you're not here.
I trusted you and you let me go.
Even though you've let me go,
You're still mine
if only in my heart.

Poem 15

We sit here under the midnight sky,
a sky meant for two.
your arms wrapped tightly around my waist
but all you are doing is counting the seconds
until you can get my clothes off.

But when the smoke clears
and I can see for myself
I realize that you are
just a little boy
walking in the body
of an eighteen year old man.

Poem 14

Say what you're going to say.
Your words don't mean a thing to me anymore.
After all of your lies
why should I care?
I'm glad this is over.
I'm tired of your games.
this was too much for me.
evenings spent alone waiting for you,
nights spent in your car.
the passion in your voice when you said,
"I think I love you."
too much, too soon.
I fell for your lies one too many times
now I'm sitting here in all of the pain
you put me through
when you said those heartbreaking words
"I no longer love you."

Poem 13

Every time I see you smile
my heart dies a little more
but only because I know I
wasn't the one to place that
beautiful smile upon your lips.

Every time I see you cry
I wish I were your tears
so I could start as a twinkle
in your eye, roll down your cheek
and rest on your soft lips before being
caught by the wind
and carried far away from you.

Every time I tell myself I'm over you
I fall for you all over again.
When I notice you with her
my world goes quiet
and all you can hear is the shattering
of my heart as it hits
the cold, hard floor.

Poem 12

Why can't she see
that he loves her?
He's been right in front of her
for years
but she's still stuck in her own
ideas of perfection.
She's been chasing her dreams
of the perfect guy
but somehow,
the perfect guy never lives up to her expectations.
She can't see what she wants
but she knows it's not him.
She can't see through her wild dreams
but when he's right in front of her
and the moment is right
she realizes he's perfect
and that everything now feels right.

Poem 12

I thought by now I'd realize
that Tuesday's never come.
I'm lying here by myself
because Tuesday never comes.
You promised me a Tuesday.
I'm sitting here, waiting patiently
because Tuesdays never come.
Every day's a Tuesday
waiting here for you.
I guess I'll be waiting here forever
because Tuesday Never Comes.

Poem 11

When it is dark
and everyone is asleep
I lie awake and look at the stars.
In the depths of the midnight sky
I see your face
and I wonder,
Do you see me when you look at the stars?

Poem 10

Every love letter I write is inspired by you
But words on paper will never reach you.
So I scream and shout.
Sometimes I pull my hair out in a mad race to snag a piece of your soul.
These words in my head, a sad song they sing.
A mournful melody played on my heartstrings.
But you'll never see what you mean to me
Reading words on paper and listening to me scream.

Poem 9

Beautiful words
Written in pen
A million thoughts,
Tiny cyclones spinning out of control in my head.

Poem 8

Memories etched in skin
Reflections of a losing battle or points earned in war.
Reminders of people who have stabbed me in the back.
Sutures on a broken heart when people get too close.
A forced look at the past.

Poem 7

Holding closely to an image

No words need to be spoken.

To capture his essence with words

Would be criminal.

His picture says it all.

He is like the mirage,

The desired spring in the Sahara desert.

But like the mirage,

Every step closer is a step further away.

Poem 6

You sit there staring at me
and as the seconds pass
I'm getting more confused.
What's behind your beautiful brown eyes
that's got me so scared?
Why can't I tell you how I feel?
How I want to be beside you
through whatever happens
and how I want to trust you.
What's in your eyes that has me so shaken
that whenever I look into them
everything I'd been thinking crumbles
and I forget what I'm going to say?
What is it about your eyes that makes
me want to stay beside you forever
no matter how mad you make me?
And what is it about you that has me
falling for you without knowing
if you'll be there to catch me?

Poem 5

You started walking
Well, walk away.
Don't look back.
I have nothing left to say to you.
I'm empty and alone.
I have nothing left to call my own.
Just the memory of you...
a stain on my heart
One thousand staples where you tore me apart.

Poem 4

I've been holding on tonight
to the memory of a dream
I lived a long time ago
wanting to see your smile
knowing that it's my heart you'll break.
I can't let go of you even if I wanted to.

Who am I?

pale porcelain doll
in a plastic cage
living in a world where
nothing ever changes.
no one notices, no one cares
that I'm alone
behind a plastic window
with painted on ruby red lips
is a girl who loves a boy
who can't love her back.

Poem 2

Tell me, love...
Is it all a lie?
This grand illusion I have been hiding behind...
The painted faces and crooked smiles...
Fingers intertwined; tender kisses on the lips.
Is this all a lie?
Can a reflection tell you what is on the inside?

Poem 1

When the lights go out
and I am all alone,
It's you I think about.
The moon is out and the stars shine bright,
but the tears still fall because I am alone tonight.

Introduction...

So, I have had this blog for over 2 years and haven't done anything with it. I think I will post my old journal from high school into this. Enjoy!